It is not surprising that the love, sex and affection are turned off in your marriage. Please know that accumulated anger kills love. And right now there is a great deal of anger between you. The mismanagement of money and credit card debt is a specific problem and that has to be addressed with some good financial counseling. But, it has also precipitated a complete marital meltdown.
You say you love your husband and want the marriage but are not sure where he stands. If he feels the same way then there is no point in you being separated. It would be better to be living together while working out your issues. You will need professional help to do this. This is where marriage counseling comes in.
If your husband is not sure what he wants you must give him a realistic deadline by which he has to decide is he in or out of the marriage. Do not do this in an angry way, just emphasize that it’s only fair that you know where you stand.
Drs.M
Drs. Moschetta
Drs. Moschetta
Saturday, June 12, 2010
From Susan
My husband and I have been married for more than 5 years. The first 3 years were good. Until he started using a lot of credit cards. I was always scared of getting credit cards because of going into debts. I talked to my husband about this but it seems like we couldn’t get ahead in life without it, like a house, new cars etc. My husband got addicted to the card and now we have a lot of debt. Over $20,000.
Basically we can’t enjoy our marriage. Because of this debt we argue constantly about sex, money and time. We don’t have sex cause he has to work so much to pay the bills, so he’s too tired. We don’t have time to spend with each other. So we argue. The arguing has forced us to separate. He still helps me with the bills while he stays with his friend. He has no desire to have sex with me because of the stress. Is that normal? I feel like he needs time to figure things out and make everything right in his life. How long do I wait for him to get it together?
We talk and text each other about every other day because he’s busy working. But there’s no talk about I love you or I miss you. Is it time to let go? We have been separated for almost 2 months now. But we barely see each other. I don’t know what to do because I do miss him and do love him. I tell him but he doesn’t say it back
Basically we can’t enjoy our marriage. Because of this debt we argue constantly about sex, money and time. We don’t have sex cause he has to work so much to pay the bills, so he’s too tired. We don’t have time to spend with each other. So we argue. The arguing has forced us to separate. He still helps me with the bills while he stays with his friend. He has no desire to have sex with me because of the stress. Is that normal? I feel like he needs time to figure things out and make everything right in his life. How long do I wait for him to get it together?
We talk and text each other about every other day because he’s busy working. But there’s no talk about I love you or I miss you. Is it time to let go? We have been separated for almost 2 months now. But we barely see each other. I don’t know what to do because I do miss him and do love him. I tell him but he doesn’t say it back
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